Until You’re Human: Terminator Remix
by ShyBob
Summary: Terminator: the Sarah Connor Chronicles in 100 word drabbles. What does the future hold for humanity...let alone a scary freakin’ robot? Pre-John/Cam. Rating for language.


Author's Note: prompts from the TtH Livejournal community, but I've'n't a LJ.

Disclaimer: Terminator: the Sarah Connor Chronicles is the property of C-2 Pictures and Warner Brothers Television. Firefly and all associated characters are property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy Productions, and 20th Century Fox. This work is not for profit and no ownership of aforementioned copyrighted material is implied, nor any infringement intended.

***

**challenge #038: fishing **

2009 A.D.

"What is the purpose of this activity," asked Cameron.

"To commune with nature," Sarah answered.

Cam stood immobile for 7.4 seconds. "It is not communicating with me."

Sarah smiled. "Commune, not communicate. What is it telling you without words?"

"It is 296 Kelvins and 1107 millibars. 17% relative humidity; wind bearing 218 degrees at 0.6 meters per second."

"Don't bother, mom." John laughed, then addressed the Terminator. "Cam, humans can also use this as a bonding experience."

"I am already bound to the directive you assigned me." Analyzing the Connors' laughter tied up a measurable portion of Cam's CPU function.

***

**challenge #036: family values**

2009 A.D.

Sarah lectured the Terminator as she drove. "These things help define us as human beings--family values."

"And your imperfections."

"Yes," Sarah laughed, "perfection isn't a human trait, thank God. One more way we aren't like you."

"You are all flawed," Cameron observed.

"And in trying to mimic us, will you mimic our flaws?"

"No." Cam's answer was clipped.

"No? You do things that don't matter to machines: you eat, you seek approval, you...dance."

"These things are flawed," Cam puzzled aloud.

Sarah made a show of sniffing the air. "You reek of humanity."

"That's my apple-mango conditioner," the Terminator said.

***

**challenge #040: towels **

2009 A.D.

"Thank you for monitoring my regeneration," said Cameron, freshly showered and wrapped in a fluffy yellow towel.

"Umm, just pretend I'm a doctor," John said.

"Pretend? Lie?"

"Make believe, imagine, play...it's a human thing." John pulled Cam's damp hair back. It wasn't his fault his subconscious registered Cam as 'human female' standing there. "Cuts are healing well," he noted, before Cam's towel dropped.

They stared at each other in complete silence.

"What are you two doing," Sarah said icily.

"Nothing," Cam said while John sputtered incoherently.

"Are you lying to me again," asked Sarah.

"Yes," said the Terminator. "We're playing doctor."

***

**challenge #039: jello**

2009 A.D.

"You need it," John said, waving a spoonful. "Gotta feed that 'organic tissue' we all know and, uh, anyway..."

"Blue Jell-O," identified the Terminator.

"Good for what ails you, my mom says."

"It does look like the nutrient bath my organic components were cultured in," Cam stated, holding up a bowlful for closer inspection.

"Really," John said, slurping his.

"The tint was from the cyanobacteria agar and cobalt that was necessary to trigger the supplementary adipose deposits for my breasts."

John choked as the Jell-O went down the wrong way.

"Male Terminator sheathes mature in a pink solution," Cam added.

***

**challenge #013: cold feet: runaway brides**

2009 A.D.

"You left Charley," noted Cameron.

Sarah nodded. "Yes, we ran to protect him."

"John said you got cold feet. Did running make them warm?"

Sarah stared at the android, mouth open. "No! I didn't get cold feet about the engagement! We put him at risk!"

"Is he not at risk now that he has helped you," Cameron asked.

"Chingate! You think you know it all just because you're a fucking toaster oven from the future!"

"How does being a warming device make me wrong," Cameron wondered aloud. "Is that why those construction workers said I was a 'hot mama' yesterday?"

***

Spanish translation:

Chingate-fuck you

***

**challenge #051: the written word**

2009 A.D.

Agent Ellison opened the book and read, "This calls for wisdom. If anyone has insight, let him calculate the number of the beast, for it is man's number. His number is (66)6."

"10,314,424,798,490,535,546,171,949,056," calculated Cam.

"And do you know the significance of that," Ellison asked.

"Maximum number of individual items traceable using RFIDs...radio frequency identification tags," Cam explained.

"Uhm...that's a lot," said John.

"Makes it easy for SkyNet to qualify and quantify," pointed out Sarah. "Are they in everything yet?"

"Primarily shipping containers, pallets of goods." Cam noted. "Early human trials are complete."

"But soon..." Ellison said.

"Be very afraid," Cam finished.

***

Disclaimer: This interpretation of 666 is from Heinlein's "The Number of the Beast." The quote is from the Book of Revelation. I made up the bit about total number of RFIDs, but the rest is real. See .org/wiki/RFID

***

**challenge #074: lost and found**

2013 A.D.

"What's 'Slayers?'"

John laughed. "The lost movie."

"Ain't seen a movie in a long time," said one of the kids.

"Well, things're quiet and we've got juice for the commo an' lights, so I figured..."

"Why's it lost," asked another.

"Judgment Day." John frowned. "The movie was never released. This's some bootleg copy." John sat in the safety of the bunker and watched the unreleased movie with a group of kids that included his future father and uncle. The climax was approaching when the power died.

"Danger close," the woman on guard duty shrieked. "We have metal in the base!"

***

**challenge #058: first impressions**

2013 A.D.

"Danger—metal in the base! Repeat—" Plasma screeched and the guard fell silent.

John shoved the kids to the sides of the room and grabbed his battle rifle. There was no way he could stop metal with only a 7.62mm, but he might slow it down so someone else could.

Nearby the radio operator shouted into his headset, "All stations, we are under attack. All patrols, return to base soonest!"

The attacker was small, fast, impossible to hit. Finally, John got a clear view of it. "Cam," he said in surprise.

The Terminator pointed a plasma rifle at John and fired.

***

**challenge #024a: five senses (touch)**

2013 A.D.

John was knocked across the room as 'his' Cam tackled him, launching them clear of the plasma fired by the SkyNet lookalike. John landed with over three hundred pounds of Cam's hyperalloy combat chassis on him. It did NOT feel good.

The hair on one side of Cam's head was crisped from the near-miss. The 'wild' Terminator turned to track them, plasma rifle recharging. "Stay down," Cam ordered, and launched herself at the intruder. The other Terminator got off a second shot as Cam kicked the weapon, deflecting the bolt into the wall just above John.

His world exploded.

*******

**challenge #024b: five senses (taste)**

2013 A.D.

John lay on the floor of the bunker and spat blood. The saltiness was mixed with earth from the partially collapsed wall. He tried to breathe normally, but the air tasted strange on the back of his throat. John realized it was ozone from the plasma discharge. One more reason not to use plasma weapons in close quarters.

The twin Terminators continued to pummel each other about the room, destroying everything in their path. John barely rolled clear as another piece of furniture was crushed under them. He quickly scanned the room.

"Where the hell did I leave my rifle?"

*******

**challenge #024c: five senses (sight)**

2013 A.D.

It was easy for John to distinguish the two Terminators: 'his' Cam fought with style and grace, while the intruder attacked with mere robotic strength. It was like watching a fight between a ballerina and a slam dancer.

Finally, the SkyNet Terminator detected an opening and lunged forward with inhuman speed. Cam caught the other Terminator's wrist in one hand, dropped to one knee, and pivoted. Cam's other arm went between her opponent's legs and lifted, launching the other Terminator across the room in a fireman's throw. The flying android crashed into the last light, plunging the room into darkness.

*******

**challenge #024d: five senses (hearing)**

2013 A.D.

The bunker was plunged into darkness for the Terminators' finale. The crashes of furniture and thuds of hyperalloy-enhanced flesh grew louder and more frantic. A final, loud crunch was followed by an eerie silence.

John tried very hard to lay still, to will his heart rate back to normal. He listened as the surviving Terminator walked closer. John scrambled mentally: how to know if Cam won, without giving away his location in case she hadn't? The footsteps came closer and closer, finally stopping right in front of him.

"This location is compromised," said Cam as she lifted John to his feet.

*******

**challenge #024e: five senses (smell)**

2013 A.D.

Cam activated a precious lightstick. The other Terminator was motionless in the greenish glow, a metal chair leg jammed into its skull precisely over the CPU access port.

"Are you all right? John?"

Cameron leaned close. She never smelled the way John expected: neither the metal, oil, and rubber of a machine, nor the human stench shared by every person he knew. She smelled clean in a way no human had since Judgment Day. Now, burnt hair tickled his nose and John flinched. He must have imagined the look in Cameron's eyes, because Terminators couldn't be programmed to feel disappointment.

***

**challenge #007: Star Wars**

2015 A.D.

"Luke, I am your father." The voice was deep, metallic and menacing.

"NOOO!" The shout from the other side of the door triggered John's fighting instincts and he kicked the door in, rifle at the ready.

Shrieks from a dozen little throats greeted him.

"Holy shit," exclaimed John.

Cam turned to face him, but continued the narration, complete with sound effects. Bundled ragamuffins of all human varieties sat, enraptured.

'I've seen this in a freakin' movie,' John thought.

Much, much later Cam recounted the same epic struggle of freedom against tyranny to Serenity's crew. That night River dreamed strange dreams.

.com/watch?v=_g1gwQMH-XA

***

**challenge #018d: the elements (water)**

2016 A.D.

"I don't remember it used to rain so much," John said.

"It did not," Cameron agreed. "The dust from the mushroom clouds acts as condensation nuclei. It will be years before the air is as clear as it was before Judgment Day."

"Something to look forward to," John mused.

"Your children may see that day."

"You don't think I'm sterile by now?"

"You have absorbed fewer REMs than airline pilots before the war," the Terminator stated.

John stared. "I just, you know, assumed..."

"Katherine Brewster is the most suitable mate. You and she were wed in the original timeline."

"Huh."

***

**challenge #018a: the elements (air)**

2031 A.D.

The preacher paused, gathering himself for the grand finale of his sermon. The people were ready for the message, he was sure. "We will take to the heavens like a leaf on the wind. It is our calling to spread beyond this world, this solar system, to reach out into the stars and claim the gifts created for all mankind. A famous writer of the last century said, 'for mankind to survive, we must be a two-planet species.' I believe we must be more that that: it is our duty to take the children of Earth to the stars!"

*******

**challenge #018b: the elements (earth)**

2051 A.D.

The line towards the shuttle moved smoothly. There was no carry-on baggage for the ride to orbit: everything had been sent up to the waiting starship on earlier flights. The last spaceship built for colonization was readied for departure as the final emigrants boarded. Some few million people would stay behind, rebuilding in the ruins scattered across the planet.

The man at the back of the line looked about one last time and sighed. He stooped and scraped a handful of earth bordering the concrete walkway. Then William Reynolds placed the soil in his pocket and walked to the shuttle.

***

Disclaimer: the last bit is tweaked from "Third from the Sun" by Richard Matheson.

***

**challenge #018c: the elements (fire)**

2072 A.D.

Two decades after the last colony ship left in what historians would eventually call The Diaspora, life on Earth took a turn for the worse. As in many previous eras in the planet's history, changes in the sun's output dramatically affected life on Earth. A series of solar flares sent invisible waves of death racing through space: just enough extra radiation to mutate the DNA so most organisms died or became sterile. Many species survived—including cockroaches, of course—but all the vertebrates (including the poor souls that stayed on Earth to help reclaim its former glory) had a final curtain call.

***

**challenge #070: double trouble**

2017 A.D.

"I don't understand." Cameron's voice was nearly expressionless.

"Fuck you! My mother's dead and you did nothing to help her."

"My directive was to protect you."

"Well here's a new directive: you fucking stand there until you're human." The savior of the human race turned and stomped off into the rain. "Let's see what your CPU makes of that!"

512 years later:

"Wait, River--stop," Simon called.

Mal shouted, "Albatross, we don't know this place is safe!"

"It's me," River blurted, stopping in her tracks.

*Standby mode disengaged*

"I'm human," the Terminator said in wonder, gazing at her own image.

***

TBC in "Until You're Human (Firefly/Serenity Remix)"


End file.
